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Writer's pictureTessa Deighton (MPhil)

Letting go of Control

One thing is for sure, letting go of control takes both courage and vulnerability.


It's all well and good people telling us that, and yes we know that letting go will bring us more freedom, peace, joy and connection with our world, but how do we do it? Try these few tips:

  1. Be honest with yourself and face your fears: Figure out what the fear is, name it and acknowledge what the emotion behind the fear is. Make a list of fears if you have to. Question their/it's validity. Is it a lack of trust or a fear of the unknown? Know that control is rooted in fear and fear can be an illusion.

  2. Ask yourself is it yours to control or not: Is it in your direct line of influence or not? Is it somebody else/s responsibility or business? If so, let it go. It is not yours to take ownership of.

  3. Find freedom by imagining letting it go: Ask yourself - if you let go of control, will the outcome alter in a negative or drastic way? If not, then let it go. Try create an imagery of physically binding up the fear and releasing it. Would letting go feel like freedom? If so, let that feeling guide you.

  4. Ground yourself: Anchor yourself in your current presence as with this you are able to feel gratitude. With gratitude comes a peace that things will be ok. It also helps develop a trust and faith that you will overcome fear. Readjust your expectations to what is realistic and focus on what is in your control. Reach out for support if you are stuck and start to make use of daily positive affirmations

  5. Learn to live in the present: Stop worrying about the "what if's" and take the joy from what today offers. Figure out what is most important. Do those first, delegate some or plan when they can be done. Some you need to just let go. One step at a time and one day at a time.

  6. Be brave: at the end of the day, show up and do what is in your power to do. You make choices for yourself every single day and know that there are things that you actually will have no control over. Be mindful of what you do have control over and give your best in every given situation. Be vulnerable if you have to, as without vulnerability you cannot be courageous to let go of that control.

According to John Brubaker of Entrepreneur; "Focusing on the conditions is counter-productive. There are plenty of things we can complain about, but it's a waste of emotional energy to focus on things we cannot control. All you can control is what I call your A.P.E - attitude, process and effort. These are the only three things we each have complete control over."






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